Pants on the ground, pants on the ground lookin' like a fool with your pants on the ground with the gold in your mouth, had turned sideways pants hit the ground call yourself a cool cat lookin' like a fool walkin' to town with your pants on the ground
Everyone saw Larry Platt on American Idol
performing that song. And it was funny. But
I'm really going to get into the concept of
pants on the ground. And, like, analyze it.
A lot of people around America sag their pants. But if you're gonna do it, do it right!
Basic Rules in the Art of Pants Saggery:
1)Your pants are not supposed to be all the
way down at your ankles. No one wants
to see your hairy legs. And you're only
supposed to sag a little bit. In other words,
don't show a full moon. And people
shouldn't remember what color underwear
your wearing..........or else you did it wrong.
See? Partly. Not....................full
2)Here's a big one: Girls are NOT
supposed to sag. It's disgusting. Youhave no idea how many times I see that at
Walmart! And it's even worse when you're
not even wearing underwear! GOOOSH
no one wants to see your butt crack! Man
I swear,I was blinded for ten minutes
after........such horrible things can happen
while you're innocently looking for a book
at the library. Of all places for it happen.
The library.
3)With your pants sagging, you sorta have to walk like a penguin. And it's a very slow
process. I understand that you want to keep
your swag on, but I gotta get to class. So
maybe you should, like, practice waddling
at home before you become that annoying
car at the front that's driving at two miles an
hour. Because I'm the Lexus Honda Ford
car that's gonna run you over.
Breaking of the Rules:
Mr. Kelly's fifth period should remember this one. We were walking through the hall to the trailers.
Then this white kid comes penguin waddling
down the hall beside us and his whole blue
underwear was on display, which was really
stupid because Mr. Kelly immediately pulled
him over like the pants police. As I said, if you're
gonna sag, only sag it a little bit.
Okay well I already gave a mini summary, but
anyway. Okay so I was at the library looking for some books. You know, teenage drama and stuff.
Then I went to the DVD section with some skittles
and when I turned around, there was some woman
bending over with her butt in the air, and I was soo
grossed out!! It's like, OMG WTF?????? And
people were like, staring. How can you stare at it
that long??? I mean, maybe I'm speaking for myself
when I say it's nasty because apparently some might
like it.......so anyway, I was shocked and had a few
problems seeing so I almost missed the vending
machine.....as if.
This last one, no one broke the rules. I'm just saying
that walking behind saggers is funny because they
have to walk weird to keep their pants up (like
penguins). It's like Happy Feet with skinny j's.
Actually you know what??? I'm gonna
call them waddlers!
+ Honestly,
Lexus Honda Ford Car Lady
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